Can you be 24 and be an example for many children? The answer is yes and he gives us the reasons Federico Rutali, influencer and activist from Bologna, graduated in Law. Federico decided to tell about himself a Luce! to talk about his adolescence marked by obesity, bullying, depression and social phobia but above all to ensure that this does not happen to other boys. And he is succeeding in his mission, given that his battles against social unjust are greatly appreciated on social media, in particular on Instagram where Federico boasts over 200 thousand followers.
Despite his young age he had to face difficult situations. How did it come out?
“I was born and raised in Bologna, a busy and busy city. The latter has always kept my parents away. The lack of affection led me to approach food, which I saw as a safe haven or in any case a refuge from a reality that was suffocating me. Over the years I began to gain weight, up to 110 kg. From the age of 5 I was diagnosed with obesity, so I had to stay for nine long years in treatment at the Sant’Orsola Hospital in Bologna. However, it is not easy for a child to get used to spending more time in the clinic than in his own bedroom, I felt alone and disoriented. Those of childhood and adolescence were the worst years of my life, because I did not like me and I understood that others did not like me. I was frail and insecure, and when you live in these conditions you become the ideal victim of bullies. The constant insults I received at school, the loneliness that characterized my days, the countless panic attacks made me throw up after every meal, thinking this was the right choice. So from the age of 15 I entered another negative spiral, that of bulimia “.
Were you able to count on someone’s support at that time? Relatives, friends, classmates?
“I had to go through it all alone, no one knew of the enormous pain I was feeling. A suffering not only linked to my physical appearance, but also to the hatred I received every day. I realized I was a victim of body shaming. The attacks occurred exclusively during school hours, also because I had no social life, I had closed in on myself and the only entertainment was television. My classmates laughed at me and harshly criticized me, making me feel wrong: I spent my recreations in the bathroom crying alone, because no one wanted to be with me. Almost every day they stole my snack with the excuse ‘You’re fat, you don’t have to eat’. The worst moments? Surely the motor hours spent in the pool: every time I put on the swimsuit I heard the usual laughter and offensive phrases behind me. The pack laughed, it was definitely not empathetic towards me. I had no friends to confide in, and I would never be able to tell everything to my parents. The fault is mine alone, I should have first found the courage to react, I should have put aside fear and shame, and speak openly with a trusted adult ”.
A psychologist advised her to open an Instagram profile and now she boasts 267,000 followers. Do you feel a source of inspiration for others?
“From the age of 16 I decided to start a journey together with an expert, alone it would have been impossible and I would never have been able to face this long inner journey. Reacting was not easy because I had to face my shadows, but only in this way could I finally come to love myself. Following his advice, I decided to create an Instagram profile with which to tell and open myself to the world, as a sort of digital public diary. I immediately met a growing consensus with many guys who saw each other in my story and sought advice from me. I felt not only a source of inspiration but also a point of reference. I started using my profile as a counter, establishing a direct and confidential relationship with the victims, without ever replacing the psychologist. Some followers asked me – and still ask me – to tell my story in their school, so I started participating in several school projects as well. The much-sought-after revenge came from social media. Today I tell my story to help those who are overwhelmed by bullies: I know how important it is to listen to the words of a person who finally manages to live, because in those moments you think about the worst things, and above all you self-convince yourself that that nightmare will never end. But this is absolutely not the case, in fact from a black sheep I turned into a wolf hungry for revenge against the bullies who have mocked me for so many years “.
Have you decided to enroll in the Faculty of Law to do justice?
“At 19, I decided to enroll in the Faculty of Law, to help all people who need justice. I believe that my love for the law and the law matured in the years of childhood and adolescence, periods in which I developed a strong aversion to injustice. It was not easy to choose the topic of my thesis, because I wanted to deepen both an interesting topic and in line with my values, so in the end I decided to bring my personal story. ‘Bullying and Cyberbullying: All Faces of Hate’. My paper deals with the issue of bullying from a psychological and above all legal point of view. After completing my studies, I will start my internship in September, mainly dealing with cases involving minors. In order to help children even better, I must necessarily preside over civil and criminal proceedings against minors ”.
What do you recommend to those who are bullied?
“When you suffer certain attacks, you think you are living in a tunnel with no way out and you self-believe that the worst will never end. But it is absolutely not like that, you can be reborn. How? Finding the courage to react. The first step towards rebirth is to show self-confidence, responding in a calm and serene way; countering the insults and threats of the aggressor coldly and without accepting the challenge is the best way to ‘debunk’ his aggression. Of course, not all situations can be handled alone, sometimes you need the help of a trusted adult, teacher, parent or expert. Very often the victims continue to suffer in silence the actions of the bullies because they feel fear and shame, and do not feel understood by a society that always wants us to be successful and strong. We must stop with these social impositions that require us to hide our difficulties from ourselves, even making us hate our frailties. Having found the courage to talk about it with someone, a long inner journey inevitably begins that starts from the acceptance of oneself: one must learn to love one’s body even with imperfections, only in this way can we finally get to appreciate the particularities of each one “.
Are there suitable tools to be able to deal with this inner pain?
“In my opinion, the best weapons are writing and speaking, in order to externalize one’s discomfort. Talking about oneself is therapeutic, but also very painful, because it is compulsory to recall events and emotions that you almost thought you had forgotten. This can be done by writing our emotions in a secret diary or blog ”.
What do you expect from the future now? Do you have any other projects in mind?
“Maybe in ten years I will continue to use social media to spread positive messages and to make my skills as a lawyer available to help others. My dream is to open a legal assistance center for victims of bullying, because if until now I have only been able to give advice, after the State Exam I will finally be able to legally help those who are overwhelmed by bullies. I would like to publish a totally autobiographical book, in which to analyze bullying from a psychological and legal point of view. The years of study allowed me to better understand how bullying is punished in our legal system, from a civil and criminal point of view. Of course, there would be no shortage of advice on how to stop being a victim of bullies. So, a direct and empathic volume, in which to tell about myself with an open heart, making all the kids who are overwhelmed by bullies feel less alone ”.