I give it a thousand turns and that expression still seems extremely unpleasant to me. Let’s put the explanation that each one wants. If I’m controlling and I need everything under my wings. If I find it difficult to recognize the passage of time or in a more “friendly” way; if I enjoy the affections.
Everything and nothing could become.
Let’s talk about it. Clearly I do not propose to talk about myself, although of course, these lines arise from this being with its subjectivity.
I will focus “Letting go” has millions of moments and interpretations throughout life. Let’s look at those moments when the children grow up and “cuts” are needed within the family. In general we talk about the instances where the boys become independent, or we want them to, that in general terms we visualize it when they leave home. But to get to that moment, you have to go through many other steps.
It is beautiful to observe the moments when animals push their young to walk. I admit that the one that impacts me the most is with the birds. They push from the nest with conviction. What confidence in themselves to do it, knowing that their chicks will be able to spread their wings and will not fall into the void…
Since nature is wise and we are part of it, I like to wonder what in my brain interrupts my instinct. I discover and detect it instantly. “Stay with me, otherwise I don’t know what to do with this emptiness.” Will animals get that empty feeling when letting go? Or just let go and enjoy your flight?
The small daily actions that I hear every day and that cost the most are as subtle as they are complex. “He doesn’t want to sleep alone. 8 years old and sleeps with us.” “We have to clean her tail, she says it disgusts her” “I’ll wash her head, if she doesn’t have shampoo left”. “I’ll pack his backpack, otherwise he forgets half of the things.” “If I don’t sit down to do homework, he doesn’t do it.” “I change it, so we do faster”
Do these sayings resonate?
I have more: (years later…) “He doesn’t leave the house”. “He doesn’t want to work, he says there’s no work.” “I see him sad.” “He has no projects”
These are lines of reflection, of course they are far from a diagnosis. The intention is to be able to observe, without judging, how we educate. What are the messages we send with the innocent and loving: “I clean you, I slept with me, I help you do it”.
Letting grow implies letting go, it also leaves us time to see each other. It forces us to look at our relationships, what we could not or did not encourage. It is an arduous task, sometimes beautiful and healing, in others tortuous and exhausting. Whatever our responsibility, commitment and role. Leaving our children trapped is an act of cowardice.
Accompanying them to grow, releasing them little by little is a real act of love, for them as growing beings, for us, for the same reason.