Never as in these days words like “mediation“, Negotiation,” facilitators “are pronounced continuously by those who invoke or are initiating initiatives to stop the war broke out in Ukraine. International appeals to “stop the fire” floundered. Influential people are calling for intervention in mediation between Russia and Ukraine. Someone, disconsolately, would like a new Gandhi who does not seem to appear on the horizon. And there are those who, for biographical reasons, could not personally get to know the great Indian pacifist, but he was a pupil of one of his last direct disciples, Anthony Elenjimittam. Let’s talk about Daniel Lumera, expert and international reference point of meditation studies and scientific study of the surprising effects on health of attitudes such as kindness. Precisely on this concept, Lumera recently promoted the Movement for Gentile Italy which rather ambitiously aims to bring about a small-big revolution in people’s lives.
Doctor Lumera, according to you, this attitude should be spread to speak to the hearts of the powerful. Isn’t it too naïve, or simplistic, to believe it? What kindness are we talking about?
“Let’s clarify one thing immediately: the kindness I refer to should not be mistaken for external formal behavior or false courtesy. And it’s not about weakness. Being kind means acting from a state of lucidity, clarity and extreme awareness, without being the unconscious and reactive product of hatred, resentment and resentment. In this very delicate phase that we are going through, all the values, strategies, actions, choices and decisions capable of concretely highlighting a deeper understanding of the interconnection and interdependence between peoples, nations, individuals, nature and collective destiny are fundamental to the achievement of a new equilibrium, of peace and of the very survival of mankind. The power of kindness is a virtue through which consensus, a sense of belonging and identity is created starting from inclusion and care.
Today we are faced with an international situation in which there is a specific enemy, an aggressor and an attacked.
“In these days the temptation is to respond to violence with more violence, to force with force and hatred with another hatred. Falling into this instinctual dynamic is as simple as it is dangerous. On the other hand, when authentic, kindness creates a sense of belonging without any need to resort to violent verbal communication, to create competition or to play on the perception of an enemy to be eliminated. But most of all, those who understand the power of kindness do not need to leverage the primary instincts, fears and emotional wounds of others to achieve their goals. In kindness there is also firmness, presence and assertiveness, but empathy prevails, the ability to awaken feelings of compassion and brotherhood. Being ‘kind’ therefore requires and presupposes one nobility of mind capable of expressing that sense of belonging based on mutual recognition, respect and care. This nobility should be explored more carefully in education, health, economics and politics, just as preventive and curative medicine of conflict and violence. We are all seeing what an anthropocentric and patriarchal evolutionary model based on competition leads to, which justifies violence as a self-affirmative principle. Kindness is one of those values that allows us to understand and gradually integrate a biocentric and ecocentric vision of life based on interconnection, interdependence and cooperation “.
What social effects does practicing this kind of kindness have?
“At the end of 2020, the Psychological Bulletin published the largest scientific meta-analysis relating to the impact of prosocial skills on health and quality of life. Kindness turns out to be one of the key factors in prosocial behavior (what benefits other people or society as a whole, such as helping, sharing, donating, cooperating and volunteering) and its influence on health and well-being. In summary, prosocial attitudes lower the risk of mortality by up to 60%; increase longevity and life expectancy by between 22% and 44%; they improve both physical and mental health reducing the expression profile of the Ctra gene linked to stress and immune response, also reducing cellular inflammation. In the book Biology of Kindnesswhich I wrote with the Harvard professor immaculata de vivowe described the action of kindness on our telomeres, biomarkers of longevity, demonstrating how kind people live longer and healthier. It is enough just to watch or read about acts of kindness to unleash a ripple effect that triggers cognitive, emotional and behavioral changes making people more open, loving, grateful, cooperative, reducing prejudice and racism. And it is precisely for these profound reasons that in 2020 the Movimento Italia Gentile and the International Kindness Movementfounded on the scientific and philosophical basis of the book Biology of Kindness which, involving dozens of Italian municipalities, aims precisely to raise individual and collective awareness in a positive viral wave of kindness. We must all commit ourselves to promoting a new model of politics, economics, public administration, integrating the value of kindness as an emblem and fulcrum of a cooperative and non-competitive way of life “.
We have heard many appeals in recent days, especially those launched by Ukrainian President Zelensky who, in encouraging the defense of his people, however, risk slipping on the insidious terrain of a “call to arms” with disastrous effects for the entire planet. First of all, then, what words shouldn’t be said?
“I can understand President Zelensky’s position. I challenge anyone who finds himself in a situation similar to his in the task of being able to maintain mental and verbal clarity and equanimity. Said this, I would certainly avoid words that contain a final sentence. For example, I would ban expressions such as ‘The situation is permanently compromised’, ‘There can be no way out’, ‘A global escalation is inevitable’, etc. Furthermore, those involved in communication and having a role in the media system should carefully avoid insults and any words that come from gratuitous hatred. The scientific data speak for themselves: mental activity is not only capable of influencing the processes of inflammation, aging, mood, cognitive abilities, memory, immune and cardiovascular systems, but thoughts and words also have an ecological, economic, social and political weight. For this they should be used with extreme care and attention. Ukraine, Russia, Europe, Italy, NATO are but ideas in the human mind. Ideas that, well internalized, create boundaries, shape identities, conflicts, choices, decisions, words, judgments, behaviors, modify nature and ecosystems, move money and power … The root of what we see in the world is therefore mental and is precisely starting from our mind, from his ideas and the resulting words that we must generate radical change. If the goal to be achieved is peace, it is not only a question of ‘which’ words not to use but also of the intention with which we use them. If the intentionality that animates them originates from a point of resentment, hatred, judgment, fear or resentment, then those words will fuel the conflict by leveraging people’s primary emotions, helping to aggravate the situation starting from the psycho-emotional sphere, already severely tested by the pandemic experience. The media should move away from intentionally confrontational and drama-show language”.
On which keywords instead to focus, at least to give a better awareness to public opinion so influenced by the media?
“I would focus on all those words that the majority consider heretical at this moment. I selected 19 that seemed particularly significant to me: kindness, empathy, gratitude, listening, presence, care, cooperation, volunteering, compassion, clarity, clarity, honesty, loyalty, sensitivity, humility, perseverance, patience, forgiveness, love. The words to focus on must come from an authentic constructive and reconciliatory intentionality. A lucid feeling that does not originate from a conflictual root. It must start from the ability that everyone has to find peace first in himself and then in every aspect of his life. Yet most people are literally addicted to conflict, like a drug. She can’t live without. He searches for it and nourishes it on every possible occasion: at work, in the family, in relationships, in one’s past, with parts of oneself disowned… So we should first of all ask ourselves: what words do we use in all these contexts? Are we capable of choosing words carefully and with a real conciliatory intention? “.
At this point I ask you a million dollar question: if you were in the place of the diplomats who took to the field, and net of all the economic, ideological and political issues that are at stake, what communication strategy would you implement to achieve a good and right compromise?
“I would use the path of silence, the interior one, and upset all the practices and customs put in place during diplomatic meetings”.
And where would it start from?
“I would expect to practice 15 minutes of meditation for each hour of meeting. I also use a similar approach in accompaniment at the end of life. This is why I know its effectiveness and depth. Sharing silence, inner listening, simplicity, essentiality, the inspiration that a meditative mind reaches is really important.. The level of conflict is considerably reduced and the conditions are created for greater harmony and understanding. I would therefore take an interior path. Especially if there are human lives at stake, I believe that listening to life and the other must take place through respectful silence. I am perfectly aware that a culture based on doing, having and appearing struggles to grasp the importance of the dimension of being. However, there is a vast scientific and philosophical literature which supports a choice of this type. Meditation rooms are now widely used in schools, businesses, hospitals, prisons. Google, Apple, Mc Kinsey and also at Harvard University professors practice meditation sessions before classes. These are just some examples of how a space of silence, inner listening, return to simplicity and essentiality and contemplation is useful and effective in managing conflicts, stress and in the manifestation of harmonic behaviors and solutions. I know that for many people this approach might seem ridiculous, useless and utopian, but if our way of being has brought us to what we are experiencing today, repeating the same mistakes over and over again, opening up to something new would not be an idea. so absurd. In my experience, in this approach there are important keys capable of touching deep chords, even when on the other side they seem to be totally lacking empathy and humanity. To defuse the most ruthless souls, there are probably only three ways to go: compulsion, death and love. Each of the three presupposes enormous power. Each of us has our own inclinations. I naturally tend towards the last solution ”.