by Cristina Marrone
Some people live in constant anxiety, others avoid situations such as speaking in public or taking a plane. Techniques for dealing with difficult situations and not ruining your life
For some people, anxiety is the most faithful life companion. And when expectations rise, with the aim of reaching a high standard of perfection, or when one finds oneself having to face new tasks at work, anxiety takes hand in hand with fear and the quality of life collapses inexorably. But is it possible for people who tend to be anxious to be able to control this emotion? We asked Annamaria Giannini, full professor of General Psychology and director of the Department of Psychology at the La Sapienza University of Rome, who makes a premise: anxiety and fear, despite being two emotions with a very strong bond, are not the same thing, but both can become excessive and irrational. While fear is activated in the face of a real danger and, once the threat ceases, it disappears, anxiety can also be activated in the face of a perceived, intangible and often vague threat.
Fear and anxiety
Fear is considered a negative emotion because it induces discomfort, not because it shouldn’t exist: if we didn’t feel it we wouldn’t flee from a danger, so it’s good that it exists. However, it becomes a problem when it is excessive or is linked to elements that do not actually represent a danger. When you develop an intense and irrational fear (for example leaving the house, taking the elevator, taking a plane) you slip into a phobia, which becomes very limiting for everyday life.
However, there are different types of anxiety, including the so-called anxious tension, which is that generalized underlying anxiety that can be perceived when there is no real problem, but a generic worry. Patients describe this emotion by saying “as if something was about to happen to me”. This is a debilitating sensation because the individual always lives on alert and never relaxed. Anxiety can be linked to a particular activity such as speaking in public, attending a work meeting, taking an exam.
Anxiety as a lifestyle
There are people who adopt a 360-degree anxious lifestyle, on any task or goal. They experience the constant anxiety of failing, of not being adequate or up to par enough and of not being able to live up to their own expectations and those of others. There research suggests that directly addressing the things that make you anxious can help break the typical “since I’m afraid, I avoid” pattern. When people are afraid of something, they tend to avoid the feared objects, activities or situations. While avoiding a situation can help limit short-term anxieties and fears, it can make these feelings worse in the long run. Therapists refer to the behavioral technique of exposure which consists of exposing individuals to the most feared objects, activities or situations in a safe environment with the aim of reducing fear and escaping the situation that generates anxiety. Exposure therapy starts from the assumption that anxiety and anxious manifestations originate from poor learning, for example linking the presence of a dog to a strong discomfort that can become a phobia. This approach consists of a progressive approach to the anxiety-provoking object, for example the dog, with the support of relaxation techniques and words of comfort and explanation that help the person to face what was previously scary.
Overcome the fear of flying
Exposure therapy is also widely used by airlines who organize real courses to deal with the phobia of flying. At first the person who is afraid is taken to a flight simulator where he experiences take-off, landing and turbulence accompanied by a psychologist who encourages relaxation and breathing techniques and a flight expert who explains why the situation is not objectively dangerous. Once you have gained confidence, you move on to a real flight, albeit a short one, with the psychologist at your side. The bad learning that links flying to the perception of anxiety, fear and a sense of danger should at least be mitigated.
Break down the fear
Experts suggest breaking down the fear into several smaller components, which are easier to deal with if taken individually. For example, those who are afraid of speaking in public should ask themselves: what makes me feel bad? Fear of being judged? To be laughed at? To lose the thread of the conversation? The fear is articulated and we should work on the individual components. To gain confidence you can start by taking notes for a small speech at a toast; speaking in front of a mirror; speak in front of just two trusted friends. Precautions can also be adopted such as not looking at the entire room if speaking in public but taking 2-3 people in the front row as a point of reference who, as the speech progresses, will begin to nod, giving us the right security to move forward. If you find yourself in a television studio in front of the cameras you don’t have to think about how many people might listen to you, it’s better to think about the objects in front of you so as to increase concentration and reduce focus on the element that causes the most anxiety, which in this way should decrease. This mechanism can be applied to different fears, understanding their reasons. For example, a student may feel afraid to take an exam at university because he feels paralyzed by the presence of a professor. Then he should ask himself: what drives that fear? The fear of getting a bad grade? But the exam can always be retaken. The fear of losing self-esteem? Or to disappoint parents? In these last two cases, aspects of values with much deeper meanings and emotions come into play. But even in this case something can be done.
Focus on values
It may seem counterintuitive, but telling yourself to be less anxious is a signal for your brain to focus more on the anxiety. Anxiety cannot be completely eliminated and indeed, it would be counterproductive because a defense system and the right amount of anticipatory anxiety motivates and guides our actions. We can imagine being faced with a very important exam that could change our future or the final of a tennis Slam where victory could lead to a turning point in our career. Too much anxiety would not allow us to perform at our best, but the total absence of anxiety about our performance would have repercussions on motivation and commitment. Without that typical tightening in the stomach for fear of making mistakes we would go for a walk with friends instead of studying or training.
However, in order not to be overwhelmed, it may be useful to focus on values instead of anxiety, shifting attention from performance to the values that inspire it. Did I do everything correctly? Did I take the commitment seriously? Have I involved as many people as possible to obtain as much information as possible? If I have pursued what I see as my values, the anxiety will decrease because as if I were saying to myself: “there is a certain amount of risk, I could also fail but I can say that I have respected my values, that I have put the maximum effort into them and in this way it is easier to tackle tasks in a less agitated way. And even the fear of disappointing or being disappointed can be overcome because you are aware that you have given your best.
I catastrofisti
Catastrophism, or being consumed by the fear that a situation involves more risks than is actually the case, is also associated with anxiety disorders. How to overcome this state? Experts suggest thinking about what you were worried about last year. it is very likely that the worst case scenario has not occurred. Maybe it wasn’t worth worrying so much about. Or maybe we were good at overcoming a difficult situation. It’s a good idea to make notes on how you’ve dealt with certain difficulties that have generated anxiety, so you can consult them if necessary. Another strategy is to ask a trusted and, above all, less anxious friend how they would deal with a certain situation. Finally, routines: discovering the right one, such as taking a walk or practicing breathing exercises that are of great help to calm anxiety and stay focused on the task at hand.
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January 29, 2024 (modified January 29, 2024 | 08:13)
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